Pop Up Night
by Izout
Summary: Both Billy and Eyeball feel the time has come to bestow the knowledge one older brother can give to their younger brother: how to pick up girls.


Disclaimer: Not mines, don't sue.

* * *

The time was 7:47PM.

Two young men were the in the bathroom, getting themselves fresh up for a night on the town. They both splash water on their faces to rinse the soap off, brush their teeth so they would shine, and ran globs of grease through their hair to give them a swirl.

Looking good.

Afterwards, they both ran downstairs, one of them shouting a "We'll be back" to their mother, got in the car, and close the door.

"Okay, we're all ready to go?" One of them asked the two passengers in the back seat.

"Do we have to do this?" groaned an annoyed Chris Chambers as he crossed his arms.

"Yes, dipshit, think of this as a field trip." Eyeball Chambers answer his younger brother.

"Anybody need to use the bathroom?" Billy Tessio asked everybody in the car.

"Actually, I think I have -" Vern Tessio tried to say before getting cut off.

"Okay Eyeball, we're ready to go." Billy said as though he didn't hear his brother speak. And with that, the four drove off down the street. They drove in silence for about 3 minutes until they had reach their destination.

"Alright, here we are, you guys excited?" Eyeball turned around to ask the two kids.

Chris looked through the window and frown, seeing a house with various teenages outside, drinking, smoking, and who knows what else. "A party?" Both boys nodded.

"Why'd you bring us to a party?" Vern ask innocently.

Both boys stared at each other with faux shock before answering in unison.

"Girls!"

Chris just rolled his eyes. "Forget it man, I'm not going to be here watching you hit on girls." Chris told them as he unfastens his seat belt.

"Christopher, wait a minute, shit we're doing this just as much for you as we are for us." Eyeball calmly explained to sooth the younger Chambers kid's anger.

"Yeah," Billy pipe in, "You two are twelve, going to be thirteen pretty soon, and soon you guys are going to be discovering girls. So as your brothers, we feel it's our responsibility to help you two learn the ropes on how to talk to girls."

"Fine." Chris grumbled as he sat back. Shortly after that, the four exited the car and made their way to the house the party was being held at.

"Hey Billy," Vern spoke up, "I thought you were seeing Connie?" Billy stopped in his tracks and looked nervously at Eyeball before replying to the younger Tessio boy.

"Uh… I was but… Connie nothing special—I mean, she's cool and all, but I need to meet other people, you know?"

"Yeah, and she only lets him touch her tits!" Eyeball exclaimed as he laugh loudly, slapping Billy hard on the back.

"As soon as we're out of their sight, we're getting out of here." Chris whispered to the other boy.

"So Eyeball," Billy asked his friend, starting their own conversation, "We're really doing this for them?"

Eyeball just smirk at him, "Hell no, I'm doing this to give us some much needed pussy. You know what girls love more than dogs? Kids. If we go around showing everybody what good brothers we are, we'll have girls throwing themselves at us." After hearing this, Billy smirk back and both boys gave each other some skin.

As soon as they made their way inside, Eyeball grabbed Chris by the wrist and announces, "We'll go this way." Billy nodded and took Vern, the two groups dispersing into different directions.

* * *

"Okay Vern, the first thing you need to know wooing girls is to compliment them on their appearance." Billy instructed. He looked around and saw a cute brunette resting against the wall. "Now watch." And with that, Billy made his way over to her and rested a hand against the wall. The girl jump a bit at his sudden presence, but flash a small smile. "Hey, nice outfit you have on." The girl looked down and her smile widen a bit. "Excuse me, do bras come in size perfect? Because I'd buy that for you." The girl then immediately lost her smile, eyes bulge and mouth gaping, "Seriously, what's your cup size?"

He was answer with a slap.

* * *

Meanwhile, Eyeball and Chris were at a different section of the house, scanning around for any potential babes.

"Umm, how about her?" Chris weakly pointed at a girl.

"Nah, took boney." Eyeball shot down.

"What about her then?" Chris nodded at another girl.

"No, too plain." Eyeball shook his head.

"Hey, what about her?" Chris pointed at another. "She's pretty cute." Eyeball followed his finger and looked surprise.

"Is that a colored?" Eyeball question, noticing the girl of African descent sitting on the couch. "Huh? I'd put her as a maybe." He eyes scanned until he landed on one. "Bingo." And with that, Eyeball flashed Chris a confident grin and made his way over to her. "Hello."

"Hi." The red-haired girl replied back.

"So, what does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?" Eyeball asked and the girl merely giggled, causing Chris to huff from a distance.

"Well you sure know how to sweet talk a girl."

"Yeah, I'm just takin' my little bro over there to show him how to treat the ladies right."

"Well that's sweet of you." The girl nodded, looking behind Eyeball to see the younger boy.

"Yep, that's me, a sweetie." He agreed, "Why don't we head somewhere private so I can show how _sweet_ I can be?" Eyeball smiled, leaning in a little.

"I love too…" Eyeball smiled widen some more, "But I don't think my _boyfriend_ would like that."

His smile dropped. "B-Boyfriend?" And as he uttered those words, another boy walked over, carrying drinks.

"Hey baby, sorry for taking long, line was pretty long." He told her as he gave her the cup filled with punch. That was when he took notice of Eyeball. "Who's this?"

"Uh… um…" Eyeball stammered.

"Oh, this is…" the girl trailed off, remembering she never asked him what his name was. However, once her boyfriend narrowed her eyes at him, something clicked in his brain.

"Hey, I know you, you're Eyeball Chambers. Trying to make a move on my girl were you?" The boyfriend demanded he shoved Eyeball.

"Hey man, you better watch it!" The older Chambers kid warned.

"Watch huh? Watch this!" The boyfriend said as he grabbed the other boy by his shirt collar.

Chris just looked away.

* * *

While this was going down, Billy was chatting up this girl, Vern was off sitting on the floor watching them.

"Are you religious? Cause I'm the answer to all your prayers!"

"Actually, yes I am, I'm Catholic." Billy looked surprise.

"Really? I know someone who's catholic too."

"Neat-O, small world, do you by any chance know a Connie Palarmo?" She asked, causing Billy the gulp.

"Uh… the name sounds familiar." He replied nervously.

"I was actually going to hang out with her tonight, but decided to come here. But, I convince her to come over. She should be here any minute. Hey, maybe the three of us could hang out?" She asked, her eyes twinkling.

"Uh, actually that's okay," he laugh nervously, "I better get going along." He quickly said, getting up and pointing at the opposite direction with his thumbs.

"Oh, do you have to go? I thought—hey I think that's Connie coming!"

"_Oh shit!_" Billy whispered under his breath.

"Connie, glad you could make it!"

"Hey Irene!" Connie called back from across the room. As she got nearer, she notice someone who's back was turn to her. "Billy, is that you?"

"No! I mean, _no!_" Billy shouted, trying to disguise his voice. As Connie got closer, Billy quickly made a run for it, grabbing Vern.

"Hey, was that Vern?" She asked her friend.

* * *

And this went on for a while, any attempt to pick up chicks all ended in failure. Either from bad pick-up lines or people who knew them ruining the moment.

"I'm so bored." Chris told Vern as they sat down on another couch, cheeks resting on their fists.

"Yeah," Vern agreed, letting out a yawn, "Still wanna get out of here? It's getting' past my bedtime."

Chris look over at their respective brothers, lifting himself from the cushion a little to get a better view. "Yeah, looks like their backs are turn. We'll split on three, okay?"

Vern nodded in understanding.

"Okay, one… two…"

"Hey, are these seats taken?" A new voice rang out, causing both boys to flinch at the sudden movement. Both looked up and saw two blonde girls looking down at them.

"Uh, no." Chris simply answered, "Here." He quickly scooted over to make room. Vern did the same on his opposite side of the couch.

"Thanks." One of them said as they plopped down. One of them then pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. Before she could blow, she looked over at Chris. "Oh sorry, I should…"

"No, no, it's okay. Can I have one?" He asked. The girl raise a thinly arched eyebrow at this.

"Aren't you a little young?" Chris just merely shrugged. "Say, what are you two even doing here? Aren't you both a little too young for parties like this?"

Chris just rolled his eyes at her, "You think I want to be here? Our brothers forced us here." He just shook his head in disbelief. "They were using us to pick up girls."

"Wow, I can see that. My sister use to do the same thing to me when she wanted to impress boys." She said, exhaling some smoke rings.

Chris looked at her in surprise. "Really?"

Meanwhile, Vern was staring at the cupcake the other blonde had set on the coffee table.

"You gonna eat that?" Vern asked her.

"Nah, you can have it, if you want to." She told him. With a smile, Vern grabbed the cupcake and started chomping down on it. "You really like sweets, don't you?"

"Yeah, I didn't get a chance to eat dinner tonight, my brother force me here." Vern answer her, halfway done with the cupcake, "You know, this is good, but I've had better. Boy, let me tell you, my mom makes the best cupcakes around."

"Really?" She asked, interest intrigued. "Cuz my mom makes the best gingerbread in around."

"No way." Vern disagreed.

"Yes way." She said back.

"This has been a bust." Billy groaned, looking around to make sure Connie wasn't around. "How your night been going?"

"How my night been going? Jesus Billy, look at my face!" Eyeball barked. He had a black eye, slit lip, and blood trailing out of his right nostril.

"Ouch." Was all Billy could say. "You wanna get out of here?"

Eyeball sighed. "Sure, let's go grab the little shits." As the two turned around and made their way other to their brothers, they were caught by a peculiar sight.

"…. that's going to be my buddy one day, the writer." Chris finished telling Blonde # 1.

"Wow, your friend sounds like an amazing writer." She said impressed, "Think I could get to read one of his stories?"

"Sure, we could swing by his place later." Chris told her, getting off from the couch. She followed suit.

"And you can have all the bake goods you want when we get to my place." Blonde # 2 told Vern.

"That sounds so Boss, sincerely!" Vern exclaimed.

"Okay, we'll be right back, let us get our coats." Blonde # 1 told them as they walked off. Chris and Vern turned around and saw their brothers gaping at them.

"What?"

"How'd you?"

"The hell?"

"Boys, you coming?" Blonde # 2 called out them.

Chris and Vern just shrugged at them and followed after them.

Eyeball and Billy looked at them before looking at each other.

"They're good." Was all Eyeball could say. Billy nodded in agreement.

**The End.**


End file.
